Chapter Fifteen (Overjoyed)

Previously, on "Heat":
Ch. 14 (Wonderwall)
-Joseph divulged to the crew that one victim passed away from
lung collapse and heart failure.
-Luke was devastated, he was sure the man he carried in his
arms survived.
-Joseph also suspected the use of bottle bombs due to the
pieces of glass and kerosene-soaked cloth that he found on site.
-He believed that the perpetrators were crying for attention
due to their decision to carry out the arson in broad daylight.
-After the meeting, Joseph shared the story about Lily with Luke
to help his son cope with the loss of a victim.
-He assured Luke that sometimes one life must be sacrificed
to save others, and to not blame himself.
-While working out, Luke tells Austin about the "mystery girl".
-Austin accused Luke of being in love with Lyn and urged him
not to wait too long.

*Strong language*



Location: Eugi's 
Date: Saturday, 11/05/2011
Time: 2:25 p.m.

Luke hasn't been able to stop thinking about Austin's wise words since he drove home to take a shower and change.  Don't wait too long. Just sayin'.  It was hard enough to admit to another human being that he's in love with Lyn. But to actually act on it? The last time he did anything remotely close to "acting" on his feelings was when he was there for Lyn at her old apartment with Brad. They were having problems, and she had no one else to talk to. Despite their attempts to avoid each other for two years, they found their mouths crashing hungrily into each other, on her couch. Luke can still feel the very same wave of shivers that ran down his crotch at the taste of her soft lips, causing his heart to flip over and forget how to beat. It was as if time itself stopped to watch this moment, and all he knew was this feeling of falling helplessly into the spiral of her own liquid brown eyes---while watching fragments of reason try to frantically crawl out of this sinkhole of forbidden desire.  

Not even the aroma of pungent cigarettes, frozen chicken wings being dumped into the hot fryer and escaped alcohol molecules lazily filling the sports bar can take Luke's mind away from that vivid but somewhat tragic event. That was the catalyst to the series of nightmares in Lyn's life.  

As if fate refuses to have the last word, someone decides to play one of Luke's favorite songs on the jukebox.  

"Over time, I've been
Building my castle of love
Just for two
Though you never knew 
You were my reason
I've gone much too far
For you now to say
That I've got to throw 
My castle away"

He hasn't heard this ballad in ages. Or more like...he avoided it because it reminded him of Lyn too much.  She really has no idea that she was his reason and that he would get somewhat emotional at the lyrics, as it describes the frustration he feels.  If she only knew how he truly feels about her.  If she only knew how many times he wanted to just hop in his truck and show up at her door, but he didn't want to intrude on her life---or worse yet, find another man there. Shaking off these thoughts, Luke tries to remember that he's here to be with his dad and brothers, and it's a much needed time for bonding, especially after such a grueling weekend. As he gets ready to grab the puck, he yells, "Hey Nate!"

"What?" Nate asks as he stands behind Joseph, waiting for his turn.

Wiggling his eyebrows, Luke smiles. "Tonight's the night."

A wicked grin forms on Nate's mouth as he asks, "For what? You're getting lucky?" 

Just as the puck slips straight into the pocket of the McShuffleboard, Luke declares, "No, perv! I'm ending dad's streak!"

"Hah!" Joe shakes his head and laughs, as if he just heard something absurd. He's the McShuffleboard king, and none of his sons can ever beat him. If they do, it's because he lets them win to save their fragile egos.

"No way, dude!" Nate points at Joseph. "Dad hasn't lost in 17 matches."

"Alright, if I lose, I'll buy everyone a round." Luke looks over at Joseph and smirks. "If I win, dad buys."

 "In that case, Luke, I'll have a Corona." Nate teases.

"Me too!" Jake joins in.

Narrowing his eyes, Luke points at Jake and mutters, "Shut up, Chilly Willy!" 

"Hah! Chilly Willy." Nate chuckles.



"Awww, yeahhhh! Tied now." Luke does a fist pump as he sinks another puck into the pocket. There's one minute left, so it's sudden death.  Whoever scores first wins. He might finally get to beat the McShuffleboard king! "Dad, you should get the waitress. I'm ready for my free beer."

"Sure. Let me get her." Joseph plants his feet comfortably in front of the McShuffleboard and starts doing his routine. He shakes his arms to loosen up. He pops his neck. He rolls up his sleeves. In other words, he's done taking it easy on them. Now it's time to kick some serious ass. A dark-haired waitress carrying a tray full of empty beer mugs passes by. Waving his hand to get her attention, he asks, "Excuse me, miss?"

"Can I get your anything, sir?" She asks as she walks over to him, smiling.

"See this puck?" Joseph motions for her to come closer until she's right beside him.

"Yes." She replies, staring intently at the puck resting on the shiny plastic surface, before returning to his face, with somewhat intrigued eyes.

"As soon as it goes in, can you get four Coronas and an empty platter please?" Briefly looking over at Luke, Joseph blows on the puck for luck before placing it back on the board.

"What do you need an empty platter for?" She asks, holding the tray even closer to her midsection.

"So I can hand the bill and his ass back to him." Joseph grins, pointing at Luke. Bam. The puck slams inside the pocket just as the clock hits 00:00. 

"Whaaat??" Luke's jaw drop to the floor, not even knowing what just hit him.

"Oh, snap!" Nate's eyes turn into saucers as his father's streak increases to 18-0.

"Hey Luke!" Jake yells.

"What?"

"My free Corona better be ice cold. And don't forget the lime wedge."

"Shut it!"



After another round of McShuffleboard in which Joseph clearly dominated, his sons decided they've had enough ass-whooping for one night. Their dad's streak is now at 22.  A group of college students were waiting to play, so the Rossi men moved over to a booth to finish their beers. They rehashed yesterday's dispatch for a bit, recalling how intense the fire was---how lucky Luke and Jake were to be able to walk out unharmed.  There were moments of silence as they kept the dead victim in their thoughts, temporarily swarmed in melancholy, which even the briskness of the beer couldn't wash away. To lighten the mood, Nate bravely divulged about his date with Hannah, admitting that he was a gentleman all evening.  Hannah ended the night by giving him a soft peck on the cheek before they separately headed to their cars.  He definitely needed to see her again, and to his delight, she felt the same way.

This revelation led to Jake's analysis of his night at the festival with Jamie.  He couldn't really call it a date since they're just friends, and he's perfectly content with that.  He tried not to gush about her, but the words slipped before he could even think, calling her 'smart', 'pretty' and 'funny'.  He would get this far away look in his eyes when he describes how he can be himself around her. Naturally, his brothers would tease him, deriving a sick pleasure in watching his cheeks turn crimson, chanting, 'Jakey likes Jamie!'

Despite Luke's participation in torturing Jake, he can't help but sympathize with his baby brother.  He's been fighting his own battles when it comes to Lyn.  There was something about hearing Stevie Wonder's song tonight that just...struck a very sensitive cord in Luke's heart.  It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell him something, and it refuses to be ignored.  It's a nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach, as if something is not right, and if he doesn't speak up about it, he'll explode. Carefully looking at his brothers and dad, he casually mentions, "I had a really interesting conversation with Austin earlier. When we were working out."

"What about? The victims?" Joseph asks.

"No...actually, about Lyn. He thinks I'm in love with her."

"He may be on to something," Jake comments.

"What do you mean? You all think that?"

"Well, duh.  You've stayed away from each other for two years because she was with Brad. But you always talk about her. And you haven't done that since Natalie." At the mere mention of Natalie's name, Jake freezes and warily searches Luke's face. "Oh...my bad, bro." 

"It's alright. She actually came by the apartment last night."

"No way." Nate turns to his older brother as his eyes and ears perk up. "What happened?"

"Well...I finally confronted her about everything. I was a freaking mess. She kept saying she was sorry and that she made the biggest mistake of her life." Luke sighs, pondering how much he should divulge to his brothers and dad---about what really happened. He can talk to them about anything, but he wonders if he should reveal the part where he put his hand on his ex. He already feels ashamed as it is.  He can feel their eyes on him, anticipating what he's going to say next, and all he can do is look down at the table. "And we..."

"No way, dude." Nate says in disbelief, knowing Luke hasn't wanted anything to do with Natalie in the last four years.  He even told Nate that if he ever ran into her in public, to pretend she doesn't exist.

"Yeah," Luke whispers, feeling embarrassed for even sleeping with the woman that once held his heart in her hands. But if that's what it took to wash away the emotional residues she left behind, so be it.

"Wait, does that mean you're back with Natalie?" Jake asks.

"No. In fact, I'm really over her."



"Gosh, I remember when you first broke up with her. You couldn't get out of bed for a whole week! You were a mess, Luke." Jake gives his oldest brother a sympathetic smile as his eyes light up with flashbacks of days gone by. "And you didn't speak to Brad for a whole year."

"I was done with him. But J.C. called me, saying Brad's been drinking again and he got in an accident. He was in an induced coma for a whole week. I swear, I must have done some fucked up shit to Brad in a past life because I just can't walk away." Luke absentmindedly traces the red and white patterns of the table cloth with his index finger. The memories of the past converge with the reality of the present, taking him back to Austin's analysis of the situation. "Austin thinks it's fair game now since Brad cheated on Lyn. And slept with Natalie."

"He makes a good point. Honestly, Luke, I don't know how you can stay friends with Brad," Nate observes.

"There are just some things a kid should never see."

"What do you mean, son?" Joseph sits up, looking concerned.

"Remember that day when you called the cops on Mr. Clemens? When I told you what happened to Brad and J.C.?"

"Yeah," Joseph nods.

"Well, I didn't hear it from Brad.  I was actually there," Luke confesses. He never talked about this with anyone until now, and especially not with his father.  A pang of guilt briefly overtakes him as the lump in his throat expands, making it difficult for him to swallow. He's been holding on to this painful memory all of his life, but the time has come to shed light on the truth. Looking down at the table, he continues, "I was at his house right before that and I saw everything. His dad just busted into his room, all drunk. Dragged him on the floor, asking why he hasn't made dinner yet. We were doing our homework and he just dragged that poor boy like he was some animal."

The memories become too vivid for Luke, and his heart swells in pain. His voice cracks, breaking the levy of tears that he's tried hard to suppress. "All...I could hear was...Brad screaming...'no, please no!' I ran into the kitchen...and Mr. Clemens was beating...Brad's face....with a frying pan. There was blood everywhere. Then J.C. tried to step in...and he got beat too. The screams in the house...I couldn't take it anymore. So I ran back home."

Silence.

"I should have protected him," Luke straightens up as he wipes his face with his hands, painfully aware of their eyes on him, and he can literally hear their hearts breaking. Shit, this is the second time I cried today. What is wrong with me? But this isn't the first time his dad and brothers have seen him like this.  They have all seen each other like this, in these moments of vulnerability, and they have been there for each other.  That's one thing the Rossi men have always learned to count on. Showing emotions is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is the opposite.  It is the ultimate sign of inner strength. Sarah instilled this in Joseph, and he tried to teach this trait to his own sons. "I just left them there like that. I was too scared to try and stop their dad."

"Jesus Christ, Luke! You were only 10!" Nate's voice finally cuts through the heavy silence.

"Yeah...but so was Brad. And J.C. was only seven, like Jake." Luke shakes his head. "They didn't deserve that." 

"Son, listen to me," Joseph leans forward in Luke's direction and looks him straight in his swollen eyes. "You are right. Brad and J.C. didn't deserve any of that. But you and Lyn didn't deserve to get hurt by him either."

"I know..."

"Now I'm going to ask you this and you better tell me the damn truth." There's an honesty and demand in Joseph's voice that is hard to ignore.

"What is it?" 

"Are you in love with Lyn?"

"Over hearts, I have painfully
Turned every stone
Just to find, I had found 
What I've searched to discover
I've come much too far
For me now to find
The love that I've sought
Can never be mine"



It's one thing for Austin to call him out, but for his own father to ask this very same question---the man who knows him better than he knows himself---makes Luke feel like an unsuspecting deer caught in the headlights.  If he says no, they'll know he's lying.  If he reduces his feelings to a fond friendship, they won't buy it.  You don't kiss a woman that's merely a friend---nor does she cause a rift between the long-standing friendship of two men. Luke can taste the finality of this safe path he's teetered on, where Lyn is the road and he's simply the sidewalk that humbly accompanies it. Softly, he admits, "Yes...I've been in love with her since the moment our eyes met."

"Jesus Christ," Nate exclaims in awe. "And you held that in this long?"

"Pretty much, until a few months ago when she was still with Brad. They were having problems, so I was there for her. We started kissing. I stopped before it went too far. I told her that if she was with me, she would never have to resort to another man. I would be too busy loving her and making sure she was happy." Even at that moment, Luke knew the time wasn't right to make his feelings known, but it slipped anyway in frustration---a sort of careful morsel of his heart that fell on the ground, waiting to see if she noticed. She noticed alright...but she didn't pick it up. She simply stared at it with a fierce hunger in her eyes, immobilized by her commitment to another man. 

Luke adds, "But it just didn't feel right. She wanted to make things work with Brad. Apparently, he heard everything and we got into an argument. He thought we were sleeping together. It was a mess. That night she had a miscarriage but Brad didn't know she was pregnant. The next morning, she caught him with her sister on their bed. I guess that was his way of getting back at Lyn. He got her back alright, enough to make her get in a cab and head to the bridge. She was going to jump. But she changed her mind and took off to Appaloosa instead. She wanted to get as far away from Brad as possible." 

"Oh, man. Poor girl," Jake sighs, his eyes blankly immersed in the filigree pattern on the wall behind Luke, lost in shock. "I didn't know she went through all that. How did you know she was in Appaloosa?" 

"How's this for irony? Brad called me a few weeks later, sounding all upset. So I went over his place and he told me they broke up. I felt bad for him until the part where he told me he screwed her sister. And he made it seem like Lyn pushed him to it. I lost it. I beat him up and forced him to write down Lyn's address. He couldn't even leave her well enough alone."

"Was this the night before your trip?" Joseph asks.

"Yup. God, she was a mess. We were at the lake and I was holding her while she was screaming at the top of her lungs, crying. She was so angry. The pain in her voice...just killed me inside. She really thought he was the one. After that, it became too hard to be around her. She wanted me to make love to her that night but I couldn't. Even though I wanted to. God, I wanted to. But not like that. I knew she was too vulnerable. And that's why I came back early. I knew that if I didn't, we probably would have ended up doing something we would regret."

"What?! She gave you the green light and you turned her down?" Nate's voice becomes animated as his eyes light up, completely stunned by this revelation. "Duude! What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"Well, Dad told me to be a friend. And I had to keep my promise."

"I'm proud of you, son. I'm glad you respected her enough to keep your self-control. She needed time to heal." Joseph pauses as his face contorts from the angle of his own thoughts, until they gather to form a bold, but missing premise. "But you never really told her how you feel."

"What do you mean?"

"Brad's not in the picture anymore." Joseph searches Luke's eyes, hoping to extract enough conviction to stir his son into action. "Do you want to be with her?" 

"Yes. I do," Luke whispers with such desperation and longing, almost clutching for the words, hoping they'll hover around to keep him company. "God, I do."

"So what are you waiting for, Luke?" Joseph smiles, feeling a gush of oxygen escape his lungs, savoring this precious moment as he watches the love shine from his son's eyes. It is the exact same love and need he feels for Sarah, and if there's anything worth fighting for, it's the love of a good woman. "Go over there and tell her how you feel! She might feel the same way." 

"Now?"

"Yes. Now. You deserve to be happy too. Go back home and pack."Joseph follows Jake's swift movements as they slide out of the booth. He doesn't want to give Luke any time to think. As his oldest son peels his rear end off the rounded seat, Joseph adds, "You might end up staying a few days. We'll cover for you."

Grinning, Nate pats Luke's back. "Go get your girl, Luke!" 

"Get her, bro!" Jake yells as his oldest brother heads towards the exit.



By the time Luke approaches the bridge, the windshield becomes bombarded by heavy water droplets, forcing him to turn on his wiper at maximum speed.  Prematurely putting his headlights on to see better, a flash of lightning blinks in the gray skies, followed by a deep rumble---calling out to a fog that overtakes the whole city. He briefly glances at the red gym bag that he stuffed with clothes, along with toiletries, as he makes his way to Lyn.  He's been down this road before, when he took Nikki back to her, but this time, it's a different urgency. 

He tries to call Lyn on her cellphone, but it goes straight to her voicemail.  Strange. She usually picks up. Then again, he got so caught up with Natalie last night that he forgot to call her back.

Despite his dad and brothers' encouragement, he can feel his hands shaking as he grips the steering wheel.  A strange rhythm takes over his quickening heartbeat, slowly cascading down to the pit of his stomach, wrenching away at his insides.  This is similar to responding to a fire dispatch as he flies through every street corner in the firetruck, sirens blasting away anything and everything in its path.  The unknown destruction, the fear of being too late, and worse yet---the massive possibility of failure.

Love---just like firefighting, has its risks---and rewards. 



Location: 1012 Pomona Promenade
Time: 5:11 p.m.

As he passed through downtown Appaloosa, all of the traces of rain disappeared.  There's not one cloud in the clear, blue sky. Even the water droplets on the windshield have completely dried off.  As Luke parks his orange truck in front of Lyn's house, he takes a deep breath, temporarily overcome by memories of his visit last time. Home. He smiles as he examines the front of the Cape Cod style ranch house, looking so cozy and inviting, and for a moment he imagines his life here with her---having intimate conversations on the porch, as he massages her feet. He can see the blissful look on her face as she sips ice cold lemonade, watching the sunset---while the kids play outside....

The sight of Lyn's truck parked next to the garage indicates that she's home, but it makes Luke wonder why she hasn't been answering his calls. Is she upset because he didn't call her back last night? Panic temporarily takes over his thoughts as he considers the possibility that his presence might not be welcome.  He's at a crossroad.  If he leaves now, he may never get the courage to tell her how he feels.  If he stays, he might set himself up for a rejection that he may not completely fully recover from. But you never really told her how you feel, his father's words continue to echo in his mind.  Joseph is right.  Lyn has no idea how Luke really feels, how deep his feelings run---and the gravity of his desire for her.  

After ringing the doorbell several times, there is no answer.  Where could she be? Luke's instinct is to break through the glass door to check on her, to make sure she's okay---but a voice stops him. Go to Hangman's Tree. Hurry.



"And though the odds
 Say improbable
What do they know?
For in romance
All true love needs
Is a chance
And maybe with a chance 
You will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved
Over you"

*Copyright 2013 Lyn C.S.* --------------------------------

Author's Note: Ch. 41 (Drive) and Ch. 43 (So Close) from "Memoirs Of A City Girl" covers Luke's return to Appaloosa.

"Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder
Video by: maria siena