Chapter Nineteen (Wish You Were Here)

Previously, on "Heat":
Ch. 18 (No Surprises)
-Joseph noticed a black Tofunda wagon parked in the parking 
lot of the firestation.
-It also had a white playboy bunny sticker and a license plate
 that said "Boss".
-Instead of reporting the license plate number to Marley, Joseph
decided to follow the two unidentified men that got in the car.
-This led him to an abandoned warehouse.
-With the need to catch the suspects before they hurt more people,
Joseph barged into Laslo's meeting with his subordinates.
-To Joseph's shock, he recognized one of the men.
-Laslo told Joseph that he made a big mistake and he knew too much.
-He ordered one of them to finish the fire captain.
-Despite Joseph's plea, his life ended with one pull of the trigger.

Location: Bridgeport Eternal Rest Cemetery

Date: Friday, 11/11/2011
Time: 1:11 p.m.

White flecks of snow continue to fill the uncharacteristically icy fall air, making it seem like winter decided to pay an early visit---a month too early. What started out as a few random dusts of snow now cover up the ground; the trees, the streets and the cars lining it. Luke stands quietly next to his brothers, his gloved fingers clasped and his head covered with a hat he hadn’t planned on wearing any time soon. But the day has come. The day that he has dreaded most of his life.

Keeping his eyes focused firmly on the ground---away from the crowds of people sitting pensively in their chairs or seeking solace in the arms of another. Since Luke found out about his father’s death earlier this week, denial has been his best friend. At any moment, Joseph will come home. At any moment, Joseph will call. At any moment, Joseph will show up at the firestation and everything will be back to normal.

At any moment, Luke will wake up and it will all have been a nightmare. But that day never came. Now it’s Friday, and he’s a mere few feet away from a dark silver casket. A casket that he, his brothers and the rest of the crew just carried from the hearse.

"So, so you think
 You can tell?
Heaven from hell
Blue skies from pain 
Can you tell a green field 
From a cold steel rail
A smile from a veil 
Do you think you can tell?"

“There are no words,” Marley searches the eyes of every single person present ---family member, city official, police officer, rescued victim, crew member and friend---as if somewhere in their depths contain the answers to why Joseph's cold body is in a casket. “No words to describe the type of man Joe was. A caring leader? A devoted husband? A wonderful father? My best friend? There are no words.

“No words… can measure how much he has done for this city.  No words for the complete cowardice of…of whoever is responsible for this. I pray to God that there’s a good reason for this. Because right now, it just doesn’t make any sense.

“If it wasn’t for Joe, I’d still be the maintenance guy. I never dreamed I’d become an investigator. But he…he believed in me.” Marley swallows for a moment and braces himself on the podium in an attempt to maintain his quivering mouth and composure, trying desperately to suppress the tears. “Rest in p-peace, Joe. And we won’t rest until...until you get justice. This I can promise you.”



“There’s this saying by Ralph Waldo Emerson that---my dad used to tell me and my brothers,” Luke finally musters up the strength to speak. As he scans the crowd gathered around his father’s casket, they all seem to fade into a blur. Just a bunch of shapeless faces melting into the snow, and he can’t tell who’s who anymore.

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. My dad would say things like that, you know? His way of downplaying himself to teach us humility. But he was always our superhero. He didn’t have superpowers like Superman or the ability to jump buildings like Spiderman. But he was our hero. Everyday, he’d put on his uniform and risk his life to save others.

“Some people measure a man by his wealth, some by his accomplishments and others by his fame. Not me.” He pauses to glance at Jake, who is wiping his eyes and Nate, who is sobbing quietly. Luke clears his throat in an attempt to fight the impending tears, but to no avail, quickly cooling as they leak down his cheeks. To have to refer to his father in the past tense, in front of everyone, makes it even more apparent that he's gone. “I measure myself by my father and…and…I know I can never be...half the man he was. But I t-try. I love you, dad. I---”

The sight of his mother sitting alone, her face buried in her hands, just absolutely tears at Luke’s heart. He knows how much his parents loved each other. He knows they were best friends. They were each other's rock. He knows that at the end of the day---when everyone goes home---his dad will be permanently six feet under. And his mom will be greeted by the silence of an empty house. A house they once shared, still teeming with his clothes, his shoes, his scent, his photos, and remnants of his warm presence.

"And did they get you to trade 
Your heroes for ghosts? 
Hot ashes for trees
Hot air for a cool breeze 
Cold comfort for change
And did you exchange 
A walk on part in the war 
For a lead role in a cage?"

Without warning, Sarah rushes towards the casket and throws herself over her husband’s deceased, unresponsive body. She vehemently insisted---bordering on madness---that the caretaker leave the casket open so she can still see his face. Amidst everyone’s widened eyes and soft gasps, she screams, “You can’t leave me like this, Joe! Wake up! Please wake up!”

“Mom!” Luke quickly grabs his mother and gently pulls her away before she hurts herself, but she drops to her knees, lost in her own despair.

“He’s my life. I can’t go on without him.” There’s a numbness in her voice that’s hollow and strained, a sort of never-ending spiral of hopelessness. A complete, utter darkness that’s inescapable, with no traces of light, and the only plausible solution is to curl up and wait for death. “Just throw me in there. P-please.”

“But…” Luke searches his mother’s heavy blue eyes and whispers, “we need you, Mom.” And it’s this very moment that his heart aches for the woman that just left his life. The only other person in this world that understands him, truly understands him, besides his father. The woman that he pushed away when she traveled a great distance to be by his side---and made love to him with all that her damaged heart and soul can give. He tries to push her out of his mind, but she persists, reminding him of the agonizingly slow days without her voice, her scent, her smile, her laugh, her kiss and the magic that happens when their bodies touch.

“Mrs. Rossi, we need to close the casket,” the caretaker clears his throat, “The snow is picking up.”

“No. No, he won’t be able to breathe!” Sarah frantically shakes her head, refusing to say goodbye to her husband. “You can’t close it yet!”

“Mom, let him go.” Luke pulls his mother close, his forehead touching hers, “He needs to go.”

"How I wish, how I wish 
You were here
We're just two lost souls 
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year
Running over the same
Old ground
And how we found
The same old fears"

*Copyright 2013 Lyn C.S.*
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"Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd
Video by: cfduns